NEW YORK - ARONOFSKY TRIES MONTANA METH
Those Montana Meth Project commercials have been old news for a bit, but did you know Darren Aronofsky directed the last batch? Neither did we. Watching actors pretend to tweak into oblivion is fun, but we think it would be much more entertaining if Aronofsky made a reality game show using footage from his beloved first-person SnorriCams. Only, instead of depicting the POV of a mathematician or an amnesiac, they'd be strapped to a bunch of crankheads...
They could have contests like seeing who could play with a watchband the longest or who could build the most efficient lab. It would sure as hell beat Top Janitor or whatever garbage Bravo is pumping out these days. PS: If we didn't know any better, we'd swear the "son" in the above video is Dan Cain who was featured in our debut "It Happened" column in this month's issue.
Isn't Dan Cain the dude who played super man in Lois & Clark with Teri hatcher? Dude let him self go, big time.
Posted by: ABC fan. | 13/04/2007 at 23:51
As a resident of Montana (unfortunately; my college is cheaper here as well as my education) I will tell you that Aronofsky's ads have the same effect as all the others, absolutely none at all. In fact, the State legislature actually decided to pour more money into this shit instead of curing what truly causes meth use: poverty and a poor education system. My tax dollars might as well be spent on a combination of shitty SNL skits and post-modern films, at least then we'd have something to show for it: inspired youth. Man, I can't wait to get the fuck out of this state.
Posted by: Tabian | 14/04/2007 at 02:50
yeah, i'm from montana too... the state government champions their efforts with the montana meth ads but there hasn't been any real decrease in use. as to why aronofsky did the ads is beyond me ... $$$ !!
Posted by: kcon | 14/04/2007 at 05:13
cut the montanans some fucking slack, what the fuck happens in montana? if i lived there i'd probably fuck my brother, kill everyone over the age of 18, burn them at the stake and then snort up their ashes.
Posted by: bailey hart | 14/04/2007 at 17:45
offtopic, but that gayass dodge flash ad overlays about 20 links on your front page, making them unclickable.
Posted by: bz | 15/04/2007 at 05:21
Darren Aronofsky is the biggest Don't ever.
Posted by: cuntrag | 15/04/2007 at 06:19
dEan cain was in the new adventures of lois and clark
Posted by: comic book guy | 15/04/2007 at 07:27
Ohhh Dean Cain...Jesus I was so fucking confused at that first poster's sarcasm and humor that I almost felt the need to correct him myself.
Didn't Aronofsky direct Children of Men, the universally awesome film sucked off by critics everywhere? Bah, I cannot deny the films glory.
Hey Vice, I'm a longtime reader and I need some work. I can make for typing fast and fairly accurately, I can be cynical as the next guy, I didn't take 27.5 minutes to type this and I like to fuck dolls too.
Hook a nigga up!
-Az
Posted by: Azlam Orlandu | 15/04/2007 at 11:46
who applies for jobs on a message board? he must be on drugs
Posted by: bug | 15/04/2007 at 12:39
is asking if Aronofsky directed children of men supposed to be facetious?
Posted by: | 15/04/2007 at 15:51
I like these ads. It's funny to me that someone would even think of saying "I'll only do meth once." That's akin to saying "I'll only put my dick in this bear trap once." Addicts are funny.
Posted by: nick | 15/04/2007 at 21:41
I can't even have just one chip!
Posted by: Axzar | 16/04/2007 at 08:27
Do they even realise that most kids are probablbly desensitised to this kind of shock ads? Does a 14yr old even have the abilility to comprehend full blown addiction? but i guess it will stop a few so its better than nothing, it's a pity we dont get those kids of ads here in oz....
Posted by: azroxyl | 17/04/2007 at 14:54
Aronofsky burned-out after Pi. The Fountain is
Posted by: The Finger | 04/06/2007 at 20:23
Trying meth once won't tell you into a cookie monster. It's just what Philip Morris and Budweiser wish you to believe. Every kid should try meth when he's at least 7 or 8. Notice I said "he", girls should never try meth or they might turn up like those sluts hanging with their mother in Sex in New York City.
Posted by: The Finger | 04/06/2007 at 20:25
Those lovable critters who refer to themselves as "artists" in the 21st century are not a very happy bunch simply because the gargantuan amounts of self-confidence injected by their teachers in Art School run out around 10 minutes after they graduate.
Maybe I'm being to harsh. Faux confidence runs out around the time they get their first real job and realize the biggest impact on humanity they'll ever make is punching customer loyalty cards at Starbucks Coffee. Talk about a toilet paper degree.
In the case of the moving picture critters, a few of them will make it into Hollywood, directly into the mainstream movie projects. If they're still fantasizing but can still make pretty pictures, they're put into subsidized "independent filmaker" holding pens until they grow out of it.
Once they grow out of it (as Aronofsky did), they are offered a lot of money (as Aronofsky was) to make a really shit movie that will sell (as Aronofsky did).
After receiving all this money, they remember what their Art School teachers taught them and start to feel very, very guilty.
They try to disguise the fact they're still not making any impact on humanity by spewing out various fantastical nonsense, out of which "nothing wrong to earn some money as long as I'm secretly subverting the system with my pretty images" seems to be the most popular in Williamsburg currently.
The impact of Aronofsky's meth commercials is equal to the impact any mediated image has on human behavior: none.
I admire pretty things, they make me feel calm. That's the total sum of their impact. No more, no less.
Get over it.
Posted by: The Finger | 05/06/2007 at 13:42
"I admire pretty things, they make me feel calm. That's the total sum of their impact. No more, no less.
Get over it."
wow, man that is so like cutting and like sardonic .. you could totally write for VICE, yeah? man maybe if you keep saying "williamsburg" you'll be transported there on a dream fart and get to clean the toilets (IE take a shower)
Posted by: shabba dank | 05/06/2007 at 18:07
Live with your lover before getting married
Posted by: beer kegs only sell they | 11/08/2007 at 17:32