A Jesus Lizard DVD, Jim Goad’s new book, and a Peter Bagge comic. These three items magically appeared on our desk today as if to say “The 90s! Mayhaps they are back, no?” And indeed it would appear so. Let’s review these three items and see how the 90s have held up, shall we?
Jim Goad’s Gigantic Book of Sex (Feral House): With the exception of the stuff about weird sex fetishes (Plushies—yawn), this book has a chuckle on every page. For example, page 42, in the article about weird sexual practices, there’s one called “The Cheese Danish” and it’s when “the male squirts his semen into his partner’s ear.” BAH HA HA! Picture that! It is gross and hilarious. This entire book is gross and hilarious. Is it nostalgia? Do we simply get a warm fuzzy feeling whenever we see Craphound clip-art surrounding zine-ish article titles like “Taking Pictures of My Peen”? Nope, this is good writing for any decade. We all just wasted like an hour sitting around the office reading the funniest passages aloud to each other. Also: The best pseudonym for a dick is “bone phone” and the best one for the vag is “map of Tasmania.” The Bradleys by Peter Bagge (Fantagraphics): Solid. Seems a lot darker than we remember. What a miserable family. The only one I have any sympathy for is the mom. Not much else to report on this one. It’s not new or a reissue or anything so we’re still not sure why it materialized on our desk. (Except perhaps as a herald sent by the god of the 90s? Who would the god of the 90s be anyway? Kurt Loder? Boris Yeltzin? Sonic the Hedgehog?) Jesus Lizard DVD: Wow, how hard can you fuck up a basic concert video? Other than the fact that it looks like it was shot with an 80s Pixelvision cam, the fact that the set list on the back of the case doesn’t match set list on the DVD menu, the fact that neither set list matches what the Jesus Lizard actually play, the fact that the set list AND date for the bonus CBGBs footage are both completely wrong, the fact that whenever things kick up onstage one of the cameramen does this retarded thing where he tries to zoom in and out to the beat to make it more intense, and the fact that whereas the cover claims the liner notes were penned by Michael Azerrad in fact there are no liner notes, this isn’t too bad a vid. Chalk it up to the Yow I guess, the greatest showman to ever teabag a mic stand. Maybe I just got a bum copy or something, but I sincerely hope the guys who put this together aren’t banking on everyone being as Yow-smitten as me to overlook their blunderz. Psst: Have you seen that youtube video of him with Qui, where he cuts his hair onstage and starts handing chunks to people in the crowd? G-Enius. Funny porno-zines: Again, no idea how these turned up on our desk this week (I think they got knocked out of a storage box while we were trying to stomp a rat), but still, remember these little suckers? Remember these guys? I guess it’s great and “democratizing” that now everybody has blogs and nobody has to put any effort into anything anymore, but I for one miss the days when you could cruise on over to See/Hear, casually leaf through the NAMBLA Bulletin, then pay way too much for a copy of In Uniform to read on the train ride home. As chuckle-worthy as some website’s tit reviews might get, things you can hold will always hold a trump card. In addition, when you’re running a website, you never have to scramble to fill an empty page at the last minute and finally get some weird girl at Alt.cafe to pen an essay about how her pubes grew in at age 4. And that, folks, is one cocksucker of a shame. In summation: The 90s are back and we welcome them. Oh, another 90s thing that’s back too? Ecstasy! E is finally free of the annoying raver stigma and is making a huge comeback. Coke out, E in. Tell your friends! (Oh, and PS: we finally figured out the god of the 90s: Perry Fucking Farrell—and even HE’S got a new album out! Exsqueeze me?)