NEW YORK – HI THERE, WHAT’S THE BIGGEST LIE YOU’VE EVER TOLD?

Jenny: I got into a really bad car accident during this time when I had dropped out of school for a while and was on every drug in the universe. I told everyone that I was dehydrated and fell asleep at the wheel.

Vice: Did you get away with it?
Disgustingly, yeah I did. It’s what I told my parents and that’s the story the police bought.

Jim: How about that I’m from Australia, when I’m actually from Jersey? [This sentence started out in what we thought was a real Australian accent, but then he switched to full-on Jersey roughneck.] 

Vice: Good God, you actually pretend to be Australian? Like you have a backstory for your fake childhood and everything?
I just find it more interesting to be from Australia. The other thing is I approach a lot of other people on the streets for my job and a lot of people won’t stop for a regular accent, so I mix it up a little bit.

Aaron: I got a big one. When I was a little kid my parents left the rent money right on the table. So I took the money and bought ice cream for all my friends at school.

Vice: You spent several hundred dollars of your parents money on ice cream?
Yeah I really did that. And when they asked, I said I saw the maid take it. And she got fired and when they found out they whooped my ass. I was dead.

How old were you?
Eight years old. That was the worst.

Lara: I didn’t tell my parents that I got caught shoplifting for six months.

Vice: Where were you stealing from?
Urban Outfitters.

What happened after six months, you told them or they found out?
They gave me a court date right before Thanksgiving and I was supposed to be going out of town so I just didn’t show up. Six months later I went to Canada for Spring Break and on my way back across the border they scanned my passport and discovered a warrant for my arrest.

Guy who didn’t want to be in the poll:  A girl asked me where I was and I told her I was downtown somewhere.

Vice: What? Where are you going? That lie sucks!
[running] I know! I ain’t telling you shit!

Adam: Mine’s less a lie than a rumor that I didn’t stop. When I was in like 6th grade I let people kind of believe I had cancer.

Vice: Oh man, that is like every kid’s dream. How did it go down?
Well, this kid bet me to shave a different part of my head everyday, which I did. And I thought if I said I had cancer my girlfriend would kiss me or something.

Did it work?
Nah.

Moon: I was selling pot and I told my family I was selling cars. I’d say it’s the biggest one was because it was my whole family and the lie went on for an extended period.

Vice: You must have been selling a good amount of pot.
Yeah, it was coming here from out west where I was from. And I didn’t have a real job so the only explanation I could give my family for my income was selling cars.

And they bought it?
No. I don’t think anyone believed me.

Comments

[Jules]

Awesome.

your name being Moon probably tipped 'em off.