AUSTIN - BISCUIT ESTATE SALE

If you are in Texas this weekend and in the market for the personal effects of a dead gay punk, we'd recommend stopping by the old Turner place and checking out the estate sale for the Big Boys' much missed frontman Biscuit. We're not sure what all is left to buy, but we're sure it's as ever bit as amazing as all the stuff in the other pictures from this page we took the above photo from.

LONDON - WHEN UK RAP WAS OUTSTANDING

Who remembers before that wack-ass Soulja Boy came on the scene and ruined rap and shit? Like, back when it was super dope? In the UK, emcees like Andy Cole had hip-hop on lock. I mean, you could jam to him in the club and get fresh to him in the crib (NO HOMO). Shit's changed, dawg.

SEPARATED AT BIRTH - DEAD PORNSTARS TURNED ANTI-PORN CRUSADERS FOR OBAMA

Not really much we can add to the reams of coverage of last night's Obama speech at this point, but we've got to say the turnout for the convention was pretty darned impressive. You know you've got a real powerhouse on your hands when he can draw in not only the DP's bread and butter of multiethnic families and 80s sex icons, but even Linda Lovelace manages to get herself resurrected in time to stop by and put her pipes to work...

LONDON - PEEP SHOE

I was just searching YouTube for old episodes of Peep Show (I was either going to watch the one where Mark takes a pill for the first time or where him and Jez barbecue a dog) but accidentally typed "Peep Shoe" and this is what I found.

TINY THINGS I HATE - FALSE-START ACCENTS

I hate launching into an accent midway through an anecdote, remembering you're not very good at accents, then slowly abandoning it.
JON

 

BRUSSELS - THE MUSCLES

I used to live with a guy who was obsessed with Jean-Claude Van Damme. He used to watch videos of him doing flying roundhouse kicks in super-slow-mo. When it got to the frame where his ripped, naked back was facing the camera, he would pause it, turn around, look at me and say: "You can't tell me you wouldn't want to look like that?" I later caught him practicing flying kicks in the kitchen. Anyway, here's the trailer for a funny, French-made mockumentary called JCVD due out this autumn. 
CONROY VAN WINKLE

TORONTO - WHEN YOU FALL IN PORN

Astronaut, pro skateboarder, wolf veterinarian, and porn agent are just some of the jobs that 12-year-old boys sweatily dream about. Most kids sort of give up the good fight and start caring about mutual funds or making love to their stupid wives. Mark Spiegler was headed down that chancy path, but then porn found him and offered him a different, sexier path of redemption. Now he's devoted to helping girls get their feet (and faces) wet in the wild world of adult theater.

MONTREAL - BEWARE THE SHORT HAIRCUT

 

You think you're just going to bounce into your hairdressers chair, ask for a  Rihanna cut and end up looking like this? Then you've got something else coming.  More likely than not you will end up looking like Troi the Romulan over here. And the best thing anyone's going to say about your new look is going to be a redundant observation like, "Oh you cut your hair" which is just like when you go see your friends band but they suck so then afterwards instead of lying you say, "Hey! You guys just played a show!"

 

LONDON - QUIZ: GUESS WHO?

I sat through the lamest pub quiz ever last night. Participants were handed a page filled with pictures of celebrities who they then had to identify. To make it less obvious I defaced certain images and scribbled over others (I'm just crazy like that). The resulting set of icons in disguise proved a tad tougher to call (can you guess who that is on the left?). I couldn't be arsed to play with Jimi Hendrix or Samuel L. Jackson, but I think the rest are vastly improved. See if you can guess who's who after the jump...

LONDON - KNIFE CRIME NUGGETS

David Cameron can't help, Gordon Brown can't help, even Richard Blackwood can't help. So who can help stop this knife crime epidemic that is terrorising our country? Well, one man has decided to single-handedly take on the responsibility of this broken, debilitated society that we live in. And that man is Bombhead from Hollyoaks. Enlisting the help of his gormless mate, the "actor" has penned a touching ditty (above) to inspire teenagers not to stab each other. It's strangely addictive, just like knife crime, in fact.
*Get more Knife Crime Nuggets
PRANCEHALL