LONDON - CHRISTIAN COMPUTER GAMES
Christian games are always
uncomfortable. Playing them is as natural and enjoyable as watching
your aunt rub a mannequin's arm against her tits. But, because GTA has
convinced some people that the process of playing video games involves
pressing your face against a five-second loop of whore-murder with your
dick in a Sony-branded milking hose, there's a market for them. The only thing God-shooters like Catechumen, and the output of companies like Covenant Games have in common is that they're not very good - so when Left Behind,
the muilti-million selling post-Rapture fiction franchise released a
strategy game, you wonder if the huge budget behind it will force out a
decent game...The original game was released in 2006, to a bunch of awesome negative reviews - the most professional of which focussed on how shit the game was. But there was plenty of other stuff to hate - the "convert or kill" approach to winning a level. The fact that women aren't allowed to do much except sing and pray. One level involves walking past a man playing an electric guitar. If you don't pray, you lose yourself to evil and the Antichrist wins. How awesome is being a Christian?
Keep 'em coming, Left Behind - and don't blame us when your children are bored enough to find Slipknot entertaining.
what the fuck is that game? everybody's shining? hey why don't they make a game based on the shining. that'd rule
Posted by: | 09/10/2008 at 15:24