CANADA - A LIFE MEASURED IN INCHES

John Holmes had a huge dick. You might have already known that, but I've never seen Boogie Nights or Wonderland, so I had no idea who this guy was. Anyway, apart from having a lot of naked people pictures in it, John Holmes: A Life Measured In Inches turns out to be a ridiculously well-researched, unbiased account of Holmes’ life. And it was interesting, too, even for a shamelessly ignorant (albeit exceptionally good looking) person such as myself.

The book begins with Holmes’ shitty childhood. His dad was an alcoholic that barfed on him. His mom married another guy, who didn't barf on him but he did regularly beat his head in.  Holmes had a giant penis and the ability to cum on cue and he was the first porn star ever. Porn wasn't even legal when his dick was being filmed! He got rich and then he became a cokehead. He supported his addiction by robbing everyone he knew. He also turned his 16 year old girlfriend out.

Holmes was a total mess, which led to his involvement in the Wonderland murders. After robbing a dealer, a heist he was partly responsible for orchestrating, four junkies were found lying in pools of their own blood, their skulls completely pulverized. What exactly happened remains a mystery, but the book sheds light on several different accounts and scenarios. Holmes ended up dying of AIDS-induced complications at the age of forty-three. I hope I didn't just give away the ending. A Life Measured In Inches serves up details on pretty much every aspects of Holmes’ life. It's also got a brief but notable history of the American adult film industry, which every good porn-addict should read. 

Holmes will be remembered for his roles in films such as Hard Soap, Hard Soap, California Gigolo and Saturday Night Beaver.

MEL C.

Comments

i like big penises

[S]

AWESOME

[muhfutha]

big penises aren't actually good for men to hav because it turns them into fucking ignorant assholes- i shud know i have a fucken huge dick

ladies my number is: 1-708-555-2387