LONDON - BNP AWARD NOMINATIONS
You may have heard about the leaking of a comprehensive list of all the BNP's members on Tuesday. Well all those guys are really pissed off about the whole thing and all the members are fretting about losing their jobs or having hoards of swan eating mafia immigrants burn their houses down. But everyone has overlooked the really amazing thing about the list, and that is the fascinating notes about the hobbies and activities of BNP members. They sure are an ecclectic lot. Sort of. Our friend Tony went through the list of and pulled the best ones out for special mention. Here are his BNP award nominations.
"THE MIND BOGGLES" AWARD:
Mr Darren Charles. Activist. Membership suspended 20.9.05 (inappropriate tattoo). Suspension lifted 27.09.05 (WHAT WAS IT? A Dr. DRE TATTOO?)
BEST EMAIL ADDRESS:
Mr Tim Rudge. scrotaljakhammer666@hotmail.co.uk
BEST EMAIL ADDRESS (Runner up):
Mr Doug Thwaites. douggyfresh@hotmail.co.uk
USEFUL SKILLS AWARD (1):
Mr Vernon Atkinson. Activist - Makes kites with BNP logos.
USEFUL SKILLS AWARD (2):
Mr Ronald Anthony Frankland. Activist - Qualified firefighter, farrier, equine dentist. Semi-retired.
BEST ALL ALL ROUNDER AWARD: Mr Rod Chapman. Window cleaner. Former pig farmer. Pagan prison chaplain. Hobbies: growing mistletoe, rune making (wood).
THEY'LL LET ANYONE IN THESE DAYS AWARD: Paul Shaddick. Report from Mike Howson 2/8/07: member describes himself as a witch: potential embarrassment if active.
THE ARISTOCRACY IS ALIVE & WELL AWARD: Lord Adam Murray. angloantiquities@msn.com Activist - Business owner (antiquities). Pubic speaker. Has two suits of medieval 14th & 15th century armour and can joust for rallies.
BIG TONE
What the fuck is a farrier?
Posted by: Hey | 19/11/2008 at 17:57
hahahaha. this is fucking amazing
Posted by: | 19/11/2008 at 18:11
farriers put shoes on horses. didnt you go to pony club??
Posted by: a | 19/11/2008 at 18:57
farrier = a specialist in equine hoof care (says wikipedia)
Posted by: | 19/11/2008 at 19:03
Oh my God, there are 11 members in my small town alone!!!!
Posted by: Matt | 19/11/2008 at 21:31
How did mentallyderangedwill@hotmail.com not get an honourable mention?
Posted by: james | 20/11/2008 at 12:04
You forgot to mention all the ones that mentioned "will not be renewing 07 (emigrating)" oh lol
Posted by: Cat | 20/11/2008 at 13:54
is he really a pubic speaker or is it a hilarious typo?
Posted by: | 20/11/2008 at 17:00
ha...
i don't know which of them will win the shit through your letterbox 10 nights in a row awards...
but they all deserve to.
Posted by: tickle | 20/11/2008 at 17:01
Vice just went way up in my humble estimation, best thing you ever did do.
Posted by: DP | 20/11/2008 at 17:14
I like: Mr Shaun Testa
715 Burnley Road
Crawshawbooth
Rossendale
Lancashire
BB4 8AN
01706 830349
nina100testa@aol.com
Activist. Experienced canvasser (with Labour Party)
Why would you go from canvassing for the Labour Party to sucking up to the BNP? People are fucking weird...
Posted by: Simmo | 20/11/2008 at 17:25
Rev
John
Stanton
Activist. Ex-Conservative and then Lib-Dem councillor, ex-chairman of local Green Party and UKIP member
Minister of Religion. Cert. Ed.
This guy clearly can't make up his mind about where his political loyalties lie.
Posted by: | 20/11/2008 at 17:31
Check the list again.
Award for "Best BNP Member Name"
goes to
CHRISTIAN WHITE from Edinburgh
You couldnt even make up a better BNP member name than that!
Posted by: Riccardo | 20/11/2008 at 17:32
You also forgot to mention the BNP member on the radio yesterday saying, "I have an Indian friend." Not anymore Bozo.
Posted by: Indianboy | 20/11/2008 at 17:36
Admittedly, it was hard to stop pulling out crackers - gutted I missed CHRISTIAN WHITE - that's a classic. The whole idea to study the list came from my friend Jamie Thompson, who first noticed this entry:
Mr Ian Underwood
*Will not be renewing 07 (objects to being told he shouldn't wear a bomber jacket)
To sum up the entire list - if you're curious if someone might be a member of the BNP, ask them if they own an allotment or have a keen interest in military history.
Posted by: Tone Loki | 20/11/2008 at 18:04
my favorite:
Mr Whitlock. Hobbies: criminal
justice system, bowls.
Posted by: charlotte | 20/11/2008 at 18:08
pubic speaker!!!
my fave article ever, with the one about orthodox jews who take hallucinogens
THIS is why i read vice!
Posted by: eimear | 20/11/2008 at 18:38
Capt. Hon. Roy D. Needler: Former policeman.
Lecturer in human rights/data protection
Oh, the irony.
Posted by: Captain Unhonorable Roy D. Needler | 20/11/2008 at 21:21
I love the fact that some of the BNP members love Britain so much that they live abroad
They are immigrants too, bit two faced right?
Posted by: A | 20/11/2008 at 22:22
'WHAT WAS IT? A Dr. DRE TATTOO?'
Haha, very nice.
Posted by: Scarlett | 21/11/2008 at 09:42
Someone who looks after horses!
Posted by: | 21/11/2008 at 11:02
Miss
Sarah
Riddle
9 Spa Terrace
Askern
Doncaster
South Yorkshire
DN6 0EN
07880 761266
sarah_dony@yahoo.co.uk
Aged 20 (07). Activist
Student: Events Management at London Metropolitan
Posted by: | 21/11/2008 at 11:07
on their website they said they think they've been getting more hits because more people want to join the party and have actually been encouraged by the "quality" of members in the list
haha
Posted by: | 22/11/2008 at 03:18
I like this one:
Mr
Andy
Rose
Flat 3 Larkspur Court
Gipsy Lane
Taunton
Somerset
TA2 6LP
It must aggravate him every time he writes his address!
Posted by: Ed | 22/11/2008 at 09:32
And the tattoo - triggering a 7 day suspension... presumably a henna Dr Dre then?
Posted by: Ed | 22/11/2008 at 09:35