LONDON - THE £25,000 BOOK OF HORSE PORN
I love horses, so naturally I want to spend thousands on some pictures of them and so do my friends. Don't be bitter. Yeah I see some crying about this 'recession'. Yeah I see some of you bent over in Morrissons looking for your 10p off coupon, 18 malnourished kids circling your ricket-ravished legs. Yeah I see you and your unemployed husbands facing a winter that could kill off half of your nasty litter and I spit on you. I spit on you by shoving my wads in your face before spending more money than you spent on your house on a book of horsie pictures. But then, as the people say: This book celebrates the power and mystique of the horse by bringing together the most spectacular and evocative equine images ever compiled. Check out how good it is.
THE CARBRO AND PLATINUM EDITION 1/25
£25,000
A special large format edition book measuring 16 x 20, 300 pages/150 images in full colour, hand bound in an Italian silk printed case, personally signed by Tim Flach and individually numbered. One Carbro and two Platinum edition 30 x 24 prints numbered and signed verso, each accompanied by a certificate of authenticity. Fine leather case designed and hand-made by Asprey, lined with Italian silk and kid suede, with a handmade leather portfolio for the prints.
So I spent £25,000 on a book of horse porn. Yeah, pictures of horses. Mythical creatures to you, right up there with unicorns and werewolves. Way out of the slums where people can afford basic human rights like dignity and electricity and a car for each day of the week horses run wild in our acres and theyâre things of beauty. And you don't get horses as good looking as these anywhere else.
I needed this because my antique Amazonian coffee table wasn't groaning loud enough under the weight of shit I bought from my catalogue of obnoxious commodities. I want to hear that bitch moan like a tight-assed prep school boarder from the brunt of my acquisitions from the How To Spend It section of my bible Icon Magazine. While you're heating your family from the fumes of ten Argos catalogues I'm reading a lifestyle magazine that counts the world's wealthiest tastemakers among its readership. Yeah.
TIM CHESTER
erm, 25,000 is not a quarter of a million...
Posted by: me | 04/12/2008 at 15:32
jesus, what the fuck. is this reality?
Posted by: pudge fish | 04/12/2008 at 15:55
it might be by next week.
Posted by: exchanger | 04/12/2008 at 16:02
Haha. Fail.
Posted by: Bandit a la mode | 04/12/2008 at 16:03
@me: pennies bud
Posted by: paulie shore | 04/12/2008 at 16:03
this is maddening. why?
Posted by: fucked | 04/12/2008 at 16:04
horse people are weird. my aunt and uncle raise horses and i think they are slightly off their rockers.
Posted by: andy | 04/12/2008 at 16:10
if it's good enough for travolta, it's craptacular enough for anyone
Posted by: ender | 04/12/2008 at 16:12
so you're saying that after taxes, i'll only have to work another year and a quarter and i too can afford this masterpiece
Posted by: rich asses | 04/12/2008 at 16:14
Hey, poor fuckers.
Want to see what a horse looks like? Want to own an actual book? Don't want to spend £25,000.
Maybe you should have tried harder at school then!
This may ease your pain though:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Equus-Tim-Flach/dp/0810971429/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1228423649&sr=8-1
Posted by: Rene | 04/12/2008 at 20:50