BERLIN - RITUALISTIC BODY CLEANSING

Our Berlin office makes their interns go through hell even before they’re actually allowed to start working at the office--just so when they do, they will appreciate the honor of delivering coffee to their desks because they will know what humiliation really looks like. These tasks turn them into better people. Sani was the first applicant who didn’t chicken out like a prissy, shy little princess girl when we asked her to perform (and document) a ritualistic cleansing of someone else's body cavities to demonstrate she really wants this job. 

BULLYING AT WORK

Hey dipshit! It's Ban Bullying at Work day. We decided to get into the spirit of things since some people (pussies) have told us, that we've been a bit tyrannical ourselves in the past. Ok, so the 'Break the Intern' campaign was a bit harsh. But the dude with the man purse and guy with Worst Haircut Ever were totally asking for it so step back. And while we're at it are we just supposed to ignore the fact that someone has a Dalai Lama tattoo on their leg? Be serious. Anyway, let's show a little compassion right now. Have any of you ever dealt with office bullying? Or, do you stand tall in the cool zone, and ruin people's days? Stories please. Or not. We don't care.

LONDON - OFFICE FREAKS

It's been a pretty disturbing week here at Vice HQ in London. On Monday, our new editorial guy James (who broke his ankle at a recent Fucked Up gig) got his cast taken off to reveal the leg of an obese, 80-year-old homeless woman had been hiding under there all along (click on the image over there to see just how fucking scaly and disgusting it is). Then, today, and most heinous of all, our events guy Jack came in with the most revolting, ridiculous haircut we have maybe ever seen. Click below to witness the horror for yourself.

WARNING: Some readers may need to sit down before they see this.

LONDON - MAN-BAG BOY

It's that time of year when many men think it's acceptable to downsize from backpacks to little, effete, over-the-shoulder satchels. Our design guy is such a man-bag man. He's stopped wearing his blazer with screen-printed skulls on it, but has recently acquired an expensive-looking, softened-leather man-purse. We asked him to explain himself...

NEW YORK - INTERN BROKEN

Golbe wouldn't fuck the phone and he wouldn't let us show you our iChat conversations about it. Also, he lost his temper. Und so: We win.

NEW YORK - BREAK THE INTERN

We had Golbe's latest assignment messengered to him at home. Text him with ideas, (847) 714-6993. He will begin fucking the phone this evening (Tuesday) at 6 PM EST. (Text only. Calls will NOT be answered.)

NEW YORK - BREAK THE INTERN

We asked our go-getting intern Jon Golbe to go get a job. He said, “What kind?” and we referred him to a program run by the government welfare office and overseen by a private company called Career and Educational Consultants. It has a very good track record. PS: What next?

NEW YORK - ON ASSIGNMENT WITH GOLBE

Hi. We have an intern named Jon Golbe. He's one of those people full of boundless optimism and enthusiasm, and so it follows that we want to break him like a dry stick. For this reason, we have been shipping him off to the courthouse. What follows is his first dispatch. You know what kind of burns us up? It's good. Help us to think of some place to send this happy little fuck, OK?