AMSTERDAM - THE GLOWIEST PLACE IN TOWN

Meet Nick Paladino, a Hendrix-obsessed American who drained an Amsterdam basement all by himself in order to create Electric Lady Land, a museum where everything but Nick is fluorescent--although we haven't seen him in the nude. Mieke Lindeman traveled to the museum for further inspection. Here's what she came home with.

LONDON - THE BABIES OF SPY TECH ARE ALL GROWED UP

Information is power. Money is biscuits. Sausages are members of the French aristocracy. One of these statements is timelessly true. And about to get even truer as cheap, hi-tech surveillance comes ever closer to home.

LONDON - SOMETIMES A CAVE IS JUST A BIG VAGINA

Ryan McGinley’s new exhibit of cave photographs, some of which we featured in our Photo Issue, opens at Alison Jacques Gallery in London tonight and it’s already getting tons of accolades. People keep talking about the gorgeous colors and the masterly compositions, referencing Tom Sawyer’s “spirit of adventure” and Journey to the Center of the Earth, sprinkling biblical Jonah and the Whale references here and there, but what’s really baffling is that no one is stating the obvious: These are all pictures of vaginas. I mean, they’re caves. With all those surreal colors, they’re practically Georgia O’Keefe paintings. You don’t have to be a pervert, or Freud, or both, to see it.

BUENOS AIRES - A WALK IN THE PARK WITH COCA SARLI

Coca Sarli, a former actress from Argentina who was born in 1935, began her career as a model and was crowned Miss Argentina in 1955. After starring in tons of films, among those the first Argentine film with a total nude scene, she has managed to slip into every generation´s jerking image-stock. Recently some alcohol brand had the idea of installing 1,882 body figures of her (which maybe stands for the average number of wanks each Argentine has dedicated to her?), in a park in the wealthiest neighborhood of Buenos Aires as a payback for all the inspiration she's provided. In what may have been an attempt to spot some obsessed male groupies and drag them away to her place, for which we definitely can´t blame her, Coca threw on a fur and gladly posed for some portraits with herself. 

LOS ANGELES - HALLOW

Not to be all boring "spooky" Friday theMc13th on you (btw this configuration of days/dates happens only once every 11 years, so maybe you can convince yourself it's somehow "special," though again, ultimately, who really gives a fuck?) but we thought we should let you know about Hallow, an opening of Mark McCoy's drawings of haunted-looking houses and rotting corpses at Hope gallery. It's a bunch of his ink depicting things decomposing and transmutating (see how those falling-apart boards seem to form a rune? eh?), plus the release of a soundtrack that'll make you want to kill yourself. It promises to be a real mood-lifter of an event. You should totally go.

MELBOURNE - TIN&ED GO SOLO

If you’ve ever ended up at their studio at 4am after a long night of drinking, you’ll understand what we mean when we say that Tin&Ed are like a charity organisation for homeless parties. Hardly a weekend goes by without the creative duo opening up their place of work to revelers after some house party got closed down by the cops. It makes you wonder where they find the time to be the amazing designers that they are. They’re work is crafty, playful, lively and international all at the same time. Seriously, we love their shit.
Starting this Thursday, the Jacky Winter Group presents A Relative Distance, Tin & Ed’s first solo exhibition ever. Part of the Melbourne Fashion Week Cultural Program, the show will feature photographs of incredible outfits designed workshop-style by them and a bunch of their beautiful friends, who also modeled the creations. By the way, Tin & Ed will also be appearing in the upcoming fashion issue of Vice Magazine. Basically, they dressed each other in crazy shit from Savers for an entire week. Kudos guys. That took balls.

A RELATIVE DISTANCE - A NEW WORK BY TIN&ED
Thursday 5 March to Saturday 28 March
Lamington Drive @ The Compound Interest Centre for Applied Arts
89 George Street, Near the corner of Gertrude
Fitzroy, Victoria

MELBOURNE - WEIRD FASHION SHOW

I'll get to the point quickly cause this opens tonight. What we have here is a fashion and costume show at Bus Gallery featuring some of our favourite Melbourne artists (with some Sydney-siders and foreigners thrown in, presumably to guarantee at least some colour other than black). Curated by Patrick O'Brien, the participants are: Oliver Hextall, Alex Vivian, Fjorn Butler, Alexander Ouchtomsky, Sean Bailey, Kiki Ando (Japan), Harriett Morgan, Evergreen Terrace, Sally Blenheim, Hyper colour castle, Thomas Bernard (France), Circle Pit (Sydney), Dell Stewart, Tin and Ed,  Jarrah de Kuijer. Since there's not a fashion designer in sight it should actually be good.

NEW YORK - SEE YOU AT THE PLAYGROUND

This is maybe a bad segue, with all this nasty talk of adults visiting inner childhood, but our photographer friend Dana Goldstein is putting on a show at the Puffin Room called The Playground. It’s all about leaving your tender years behind without losing sight of the dreams that made it all so special. Here's a behind-the-scenes preview of the people (including Vice UK photog guy Ben Rayner, Anton Glamb, Gordon Stevenson, Jason Mathew Lee, Pablo Power, Scott Shannon, Robert S. L. Waltzer, Tim Diet, Will Robbins, and Dana herself) and things (art) you'll see at the reception on Saturday...

NEW YORK - SHOWPAPER IN 3-D

Showpaper is like the nursery for hatchling shows. It gives your event a warm bottle and burps it and wipes the yellow diarrhea cream off its ass and swaddles it in a soft blankie, presenting it to the world in a non-judgmental way, totally for free. Which makes it the place to find out about what’s going on, at least when spaces aren’t being all secretive assholes and worried about narcs. But recently in a weird plot twist, Showpaper extended their all-inclusive happy good vibes to the art world and opened their arms to whatever anyone wanted to give them for a visual exhibition. We know what kind of garbage that would harvest if it was an open call for bands, but hopefully it won’t mean the same for their Open Submissions Art Show, which opens at Secret Project Robot tomorrow. Some of the people involved are pretty good (Korakrit Arunanondchai, Jim Avignon, Moira Connelly, Jesse Gelaznik, Nathan Gelgud, Lizz Hickey, Zara Messano & Gil Gentile, Leif Parsons, Kathleen Vaccaro, Jason Yates) so we're hoping all the yahoos weeded themselves out on pure feelings of inadequacy and self-consciousness alone.

SYDNEY – DOING BUMPS FOR THE VISUALLY IMPAIRED

Andy Uprock’s global campaign for fence beautification hit Sydney’s MTV Gallery last week. For those unfamiliar with Andy’s work, he’s the guy who invented a new style of graffiti whereby plastic cups are pushed between the wires in cyclone fences to spell out words or make cool geometric images. It’s called Cuprocking and people all over the world give it mad love.
Presented by MOOKS, Graffiti for the Blind features poetry emotively “cuprocked” in Braille as well as photographs and Braille jewellery made in collaboration with TMOD. All works are for sale with a percentage of proceeds going to Vision Australia. Vice was at the launch, and as you can see from the photos, it was a blinder.
Graffiti for the Blind runs until November 29 at MTV Gallery, 4-16 Young Street, East Sydney.