DUBLIN - A HOLIDAY AT ACCIDENT AND EMERGENCY

Er

Dublin’s an unmerciful bore. After 2 AM, every bar in the city is closed and the only thing moving with any purpose are taxis and ambulances. The taxis are making their way out of town to the suburbs but the ambulances are heading to the most macabre after-hours in the city: St. James’ Hospital A&E. 

Continue reading "DUBLIN - A HOLIDAY AT ACCIDENT AND EMERGENCY" »

08/10/2009 in Canada , Medical , NZ , Scandinavia , UK , USA | Permalink | Comments (11)


IAN VERSUS KEVIN: HEAD TO HEAD ON SOFT FOCUS

Picture 2  

Today VBS is re-showing a Soft Focus interview with My Bloody Valentine front man Kevin Shields because it's good and also to keep you up to date for fact-dropping at their performance at All Points West in New Jersey next weekend. In order to impress people you need to be the center of knowledge at the festival, not just by making Brian Wilson comparisons. Make sure to tell them that My Bloody Valentine is soon to release songs they've been working on since 1996 but that you have listened to Shields since 1988 straight out of the womb. They won't know which way is up.

EMILY DIAMOND

07/22/2009 in Music , UK , VBS | Permalink | Comments (7)


LONDON - THE ROLLERCOASTER PROJECT IS A REAL "RIDE" FOR BLOGGERS (GOD THAT WAS TERRIBLE)

1022

The Rollercoaster Project is one of those musicians whose music makes bloggers want to spew out crap like this: Exploding starlight bounces round the womb shimmering on the unborn Martian eyelids and setting the first glimmers of thought buzzing through the synapses, flowing finally into the sea of comprehension. But the Rollercoaster Project's electronic drone is a lot better than any grotesque over-writing could ever suggest. Click through to hear the remarkable "Hoods Up." 

Continue reading "LONDON - THE ROLLERCOASTER PROJECT IS A REAL "RIDE" FOR BLOGGERS (GOD THAT WAS TERRIBLE)" »

07/20/2009 in Australia , Canada , Music , NZ , Scandinavia , UK | Permalink | Comments (13)


LONDON - BOATIN' WITH BOTTIN

Boat

William Bottin is one of the finest purveyors of electronic disco around right now. His tracks have a clear Italo influence, and he's actually Italian, which probably means he has more of a right or something. Even Andy Bell from Erasure likes him! We caught up with him for a quick chat. It would've been nice if it actually was on a boat, but it was just Gmail.

Continue reading "LONDON - BOATIN' WITH BOTTIN" »

07/16/2009 in Australia , Canada , Interviews , London , Music , NZ , Scandinavia , UK | Permalink | Comments (17)


BLACKPOOL: LAS VEGAS OF THE NORTH

10125

Meet Vickie and her vibe. Leo Leigh bought her from a gift shop in Blackpool, which is a seaside town in the Northwest of England. Every time I look at it I’m overcome with lust. I went to Blackpool with Leo in January 2009 to make a film called Blackpool: Las Vegas of the North, which you can watch on VBS this Wednesday! But to get yourself all excited, click through to see the trailer. 

Continue reading "BLACKPOOL: LAS VEGAS OF THE NORTH" »

07/13/2009 in Australia , Canada , London , NZ , Photography , Scandinavia , Travel , UK | Permalink | Comments (0)


LONDON - GET WITH THE KINDNESS

Picture-23
We know nothing about Kindness except that we love them. 

Continue reading "LONDON - GET WITH THE KINDNESS" »

06/24/2009 in London , Music , UK | Permalink | Comments (11)


MEET THE NIERATKOS - LONNIE WON'T EAT SHIT

Kids can be so mean

Last week I wrote about Lonnie’s Easter egg hunt. No one saw it because Vice is so hip they think things people spend an hour writing should only be visible to the web-viewing public for 1/4th that amount of time before being hidden away in the intraweb like the Ark of the Covenant in Indiana Jones. It is beyond annoying and boy does it motivate me to keep writing this bullshit.

But I do it for Lonnie. Because Lonnie is a bright shining star just waiting to be discovered. Or at the least, waiting for lunch. Then supper. Then breakfast. Then repeat.

Continue reading "MEET THE NIERATKOS - LONNIE WON'T EAT SHIT" »

04/17/2009 in Australia , Canada , Scandinavia , Skinema , UK , USA | Permalink | Comments (9)


LONDON - JIRO & HIS JAR

Jiro's wierd tonsils
Jiro, our friend, illustrator, and one half of Voodoo Village, claimed to be sick last week. We all thought he was just being a bit wet. But over the last six days he has accrued proof of his malady. By collecting (he debates that term) his mucus. We had an iChat conversation with him about it.

Continue reading "LONDON - JIRO & HIS JAR" »

01/14/2009 in UK | Permalink | Comments (7)


LONDON - SWIMMING WITH DOLPHINS IS BULLSHIT

This is not what its like
Ever since editing a piece about Dave Navarro swimming nude with dolphins in the Worst Issue Ever, I’ve always wondered what would it be like to rub my lithe, naked torso against the rubbery skin of the sea’s friendliest mammals. Last week I met a guy called Farik on a beach in Mauritius and he sold me a package tour that promised “Swimming with dolphins and barbecued lobster on an island,” so I signed up to it without thinking twice. Here’s what fucking happened.

Continue reading "LONDON - SWIMMING WITH DOLPHINS IS BULLSHIT" »

01/13/2009 in Australia , Canada , NZ , Scandinavia , UK , USA | Permalink | Comments (15)


DEAR VICE - AIRPORT HORROR

Airport
Dear Vice,
I was stuck in the Madrid airport with a bunch of lonely weirdos when they closed it on Friday. Honestly I took this photo because of her shoes and not because she’s boycotting the tampon machine. Still, it acts as a prescient reminder that Katrina-style social collapse could happen anywhere. If women kept in wait for a plane start pulling out their vaginal accoutrements within the first hour, then its no surprise that a marooned city starts killing itself.

PAUL GEDDIS

01/13/2009 in Canada , Scandinavia , UK , USA | Permalink | Comments (8)


LONDON - THANKS FOR THE RECESSION, BOWIE

David Bowie
You know whose fault it is that you’ve had to move three Latvian haulage companies into your trendy East London warehouse space? Ziggy fucking Stardust that’s who. Yep, in the kind of wildly unpredictable move that has made finance such a giggle over the last six months, an expert has come out to blame David Bowie for starting the credit crunch.

Continue reading "LONDON - THANKS FOR THE RECESSION, BOWIE" »

01/13/2009 in UK , USA | Permalink | Comments (4)


NEW YORK - WE DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS TELEGRAPH THING

Picture_3
We get that British tabloids work differently than ours. Whereas the New York Post et al. are forced to make ends meet with cartoon speech bubbles and uncle-grade puns, English trash rags like The Sun and Daily Mail have a full arsenal of tits and swear words and even completely made-up lies at their disposal. And we like that. All that stuff is great, but it fails to explain what in the wide world of fuck is going on with this weird picture-story in today's Telegraph.

Continue reading "NEW YORK - WE DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS TELEGRAPH THING" »

01/12/2009 in Canada , UK , USA | Permalink | Comments (8)


20JAZZFUNKGREATS - TELEPATHE AND DISMEMBERMENT

Girls
What better way to kick off the 09 than with a good dose of psychedelic mayhem? Transcend people, transcend.

Continue reading "20JAZZFUNKGREATS - TELEPATHE AND DISMEMBERMENT" »

01/12/2009 in Canada , UK , USA | Permalink | Comments (7)


LONDON - CRUSHED BY SHOPPING

Messy01

It's an ugly way to die, poetically. To become an analogy that people use to illustrate how "Over-consumption" has lead to a "Crash", and then titter with glee at their own witty economic savvy. That's got to hurt. But not as much as being crushed to death by your own shopping.

 

Continue reading "LONDON - CRUSHED BY SHOPPING" »

01/09/2009 in Canada , UK , USA | Permalink | Comments (16)


UFO VERSUS THE SUN AND A COW SIZED ICE BALL

Artufo

I am struggling to work out what I find most strange about the pulverisation of a wind turbine in Grainsthorpe, Lincolnshire. Off the bat I would say that the fact that the founder of Ecotricity, Dale Vince, approximates potential threats to his wind turbines in relation to farm yard animals? Maybe he just watched the cartoon adaptation of Animal Farm, that had me all lathered up about farms too.

Continue reading "UFO VERSUS THE SUN AND A COW SIZED ICE BALL" »

01/09/2009 in UK | Permalink | Comments (2)


LITERARY - SUPER SHORT STORY CONTEST WINNER REVEALED!

Books

It wasn't easy wrapping up the Super Short Story contest we arranged in honour of the Fiction Issue, mostly because the entries we received were bad. Your story wasn't bad, obviously, we just mean, y'know, most of them. But luckily, like a toilet paper parachute sailing in across the rollicking shit waves of purple prose and sheltering us from a torrential downpour of crappy analogies, we finally received a submission that parted the figurative storm clouds (of heavy-handed exposition). Eva Michon is a Toronto-based writer, illustrator, film director and photographer. Her story - The Ivy House - went over our suggested word count, but we overlooked that since it was also leagues above everything else we read. So thanks for saving the day, Eva! Check out her story after the jump.

Continue reading "LITERARY - SUPER SHORT STORY CONTEST WINNER REVEALED!" »

01/09/2009 in Canada , UK | Permalink | Comments (8)


NEW YORK - MY GRANDPA MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE A PUSSY

Angry_old_man_2I wrote my grandfather an email right after I moved to Brooklyn and started interning here at Vice to fill him in on how I was doing, to see how everybody back home was, and to dissuade him from buying me Ronald Reagan’s Tuesday bocce ball suit as a college graduation gift. I thought I was being reasonable, cordial, all of those things William J. Bennett describes in The Book of Virtues (which he gave me for a birthday gift when I turned 14). But I guess if you don’t join the army and pray in the direction of Dick Cheney five times a day then you’re an idiot with a dead end for a future. A couple days after I sent him the email I got this reply.

Continue reading "NEW YORK - MY GRANDPA MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE A PUSSY" »

01/08/2009 in Australia , Canada , NZ , Scandinavia , UK , USA | Permalink | Comments (56)


IT HAPPENED - THE COMMUNITY OF JOE

Sitting
I grew up in Texas. Some time in the mid-80s, my mom was put in charge of the Dharma Study Group. What that meant was that we rented a little house in a different area of town, and once a week, everyone in her group would get together and meditate. On Sundays. The group attracted a lot of different types. Call them seekers.

Continue reading "IT HAPPENED - THE COMMUNITY OF JOE" »

01/08/2009 in Australia , It Happened , NZ , UK , USA | Permalink | Comments (8)


LONDON - FEAR OF CLOWNS = LAME

Fear_of_clowns

A fear of fucking clowns does not fill the void where your personality should be. It is becoming increasingly fashionable for people to spontaneously announce that they're scared of clowns. It is usually people who have little to no interests and similarly there is nothing interesting about them.

Continue reading "LONDON - FEAR OF CLOWNS = LAME" »

01/08/2009 in Bonanza , UK | Permalink | Comments (4)


NOT FIT TO PRINT - THE JEALOUSY STORY

Hunk
We got this story in from a model with dreamy eyes who "manscapes" every day before slathering himself in self-tanner and kissing his muscles poolside. He's really popular with the ladies, and can goose hot ass freely—and with nary a word of conversation, no less—since he's so in tune with the finer nuances of the female psyche. For instance, as he posits in a mind-expanding conjecture, "Women, when driven by rage or jealousy, are willing to do irrational things, willing to throw their standards and self-respect out the window to prove a greater point." Actually, we have no idea if that's actually what he's looks like--that's just what his personality projects, and that's us being nice. Probably he's a pasty horny dweeb with greasy hair, a patchy beard, glasses with lenses too thick for their frames—basically a comic book geek who thinks he's a writer, toiling the long nights by the glow of his computer screen in a dorm room. We're going to spare him his byline so as not to blow his cover as he stealthily navigates the world of getting trim. The first paragraph (or even sentence) kind of says it all, but we're also including the whole long-winded, appalling thing. Enjoy!

The opening party of the year is a Mardi Gras, and I show up with my pirate hat hitting on everything in sight. One girl who didn't find me obnoxious was this innocent-looking Quaker girl with braces. I proceed to talk to her for a long time (30 minutes) before telling her it was cold outside but not cold in my room. She told me she wasn't that type of girl blah blah and gave me her number instead. When I tell her I'll call her, she gets very happy. Naturally I don't call her, but I run in to her a week later...

Continue reading "NOT FIT TO PRINT - THE JEALOUSY STORY" »

01/08/2009 in Not Fit To Print , UK , USA | Permalink | Comments (16)